


Lose him

by funfruit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt Yamaguchi Tadashi, M/M, OC Tsukishima Kei, Sad Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Yamaguchi Tadashi-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 19:34:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30043656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funfruit/pseuds/funfruit
Summary: What if instead of forehead kisses, he avoids his touch. Instead of cuddling his boyfriend to sleep he leaves Yamaguchi staying up at night alone? What if instead of baking at 3am, it’s waiting until 3am for someone else’s texts to come through? What if Tsukishima finds someone better and leaves Yamaguchi behind. What if Yamaguchi's mutual undying love for Tsukishima because unrequited love? Well...Yamaguchi knows all of that. He knows all to well on how that feels like.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	Lose him

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post on AO3 so constructive criticism is welcome! I don't know what to say in these notes but I hope you enjoy!

If anyone knew anything about Yamaguchi Tadashi, it would be that he is unabashedly in love with Tsukishima Kei. Despite the blatant words that Tsukishima says to others on a daily basis, especially to Yamaguchi, the freckled boy always has a soft spot in his heart for his best friend. 

Every time someone told him that Tsukishima doesn’t deserve him or that Yamaguchi should find someone better to like, he would always say, “I’ll always love him no matter what,” and that would be the end of the conversation. Karasuno knew Yamaguchi would always stand up for Tsukishima no matter what he did, which is a little admirable if you think hard enough. Tsukishima never saying a thank you to Yamaguchi, though the countless times he had his best friend’s back. Everyone thought Tsukishima just didn’t care about Yamaguchi the same way, he cared about him. 

So when Yamaguchi and Tsukishima showed up to practice one day holding hands, with Yamaguchi having the brightest smile on his face, exclaiming that they are dating, it was clear to say everyone was shocked. 

Everyone’s jaw dropped right open, unable to say anything. “Tsukishima actually has feelings?!” Hinata yelled out loud. Which earned him a smack on the head from Sugawara and Tsukishima. Yamaguchi just chuckled at Hinata’s statement finding it funny. 

“Guys he’s just a tsundere, he’s actually really soft when you get to know him” 

“Shut up, Yamaguchi” 

“Gomen Tsukki!”

Even after they started dating, their relationship basically stayed the same. Yamaguchi followed Tsukishima like a puppy and Tsukishima would just put on his headphones, letting Yamaguchi rant out to basically no one. Every once in a while someone would catch them holding hands, Tsukishima obviously acting like nothing’s happening but Yamaguchi with a big smile slapped on his face. Sometimes Kageyama and Hinata would see them go to movies together, Yamaguchi paying for everything or Sugawara and Daichi running into them at the store, Tsukishima being on his phone the whole time and Yamaguchi mindlessly looking though all of the music. 

Everyone was worried for the slightly shorter boy, even though Yamaguchi was fully content with his relationship with his “boyfriend”. 

“Tsukki, can I come over today?”

“Tch, you always come over on Fridays. Why are you still asking?” 

“Gomen Tsukki!” 

Yamaguchi kept on talking to the taller boy while they were changing, with the rest of the team listening in. (It was kind of hard no to, with them all being in a cramped locker room). All of the boys sent worried glances to each other. 

“Bye guys, see everyone on Monday!” Yamaguchi yells at he walks out the room with Tsuksishima. 

\---

“Do you want to watch the Fault in Our Stars tonight, Tadashi?” Tsukishima calls out to Yamaguchi that was in kitchen making popcorn for the both of them. 

“Didn’t we watch that last week?” Yamaguchi yells back. “How about ‘A Silent Voice’ tonight” 

“Don’t you always cry while watching that movie?” Tsukishima questions as his boyfriend settles down next to him. He snatches a handful of popcorn from Yamaguchi’s lap, “I don’t really feel like dealing with your tears tonight” 

“Mean Tsukki!” Yamaguchi slaps the back of his hand making him drop the popcorn on his lap. 

“Why you little-” Tsukishima pauses, taking a deep breath. Yamaguchi, confused, tilts his head. Suddenly Tsukishima has a burst of energy and reaches for the popcorn to throw it at his boyfriend’s head. 

The two of them start throwing popcorn at each other, causing a big mess on the couch. 

So all in all, Yamaguchi is right. Tsukishima is a tsundere but really soft when you get to know him. All the forehead kisses he does when no one is looking, cuddling his boyfriend to sleep and baking at 3am just to satisfy the freckled boys sweet tooth are all things Tsukishima does for his boyfriend. 

  
  


But what if one day, this just stops. Like...completely. And don’t think that Tsukishima just started being nice to everyone he knew, what if he started being an asshole to Yamaguchi? After their three years of dating. What if instead of forehead kisses, he avoids his touch. Instead of cuddling his boyfriend to sleep he leaves Yamaguchi staying up at night alone? What if instead of baking at 3am, it’s waiting until 3am for someone else’s texts to come through? What if Tsukishima finds someone better and leaves Yamaguchi behind. What if Yamaguchi's mutual undying love for Tsukishima because unrequited love? Well...Yamaguchi knows all of that. He knows all to well on how that feels like. 

Yamaguchi remembered the day of the start of his heart break like the back of hand. His relationship with Tsukishima was slowly deteriorating, Tsukishima yelling at him for the tiniest of things, cancelling their sleepovers and ignoring his texts. But it was ok...because even though they fought and yelled, and said things they probably didn’t mean. Yamaguchi knew he loved Tsukishima regardless. 

It was probably just the stress of just graduating and starting life as an adult was probably getting to Tsukishima...Is what Yamaguchi tells himself. 

They were just coming back from a movie date (which Yamaguchi had to plan out by himself, as attempt to save their relationship) the slightly shorter boy trailing behind his boyfriend, talking about the movie, even though Tsukishima was wearing his headphones. 

“And like how Minho was being taken away- His actor is just, mwah and-” 

“Could you like, shut up?” Tsukishima snarls as he rips off his headphones off his ears. 

“What?” Yamaguchi stopped. This wasn’t they playful shut up Tsukishima always said to him. It was different. 

“I said to shut up. You’re always rambling about stuff, that I frankly, don’t give shit about,” he turns toward Yamaguchi. “Can’t you see that I don’t want to fucking listen to you? Or you just that dense?” 

“Where the fuck is this coming from Tsukishima?” Yamaguchi spits out, having gained a bit of confidence to talk back to the blonde. 

“Well maybe...I don’t know… the fact they you kept following ever since we were children? The only reason that I kept you around was because I pitied you… not because I wanted to be your friend. You think that you’re the protagonist of some romance anime, where you get to date you best friend. You’re wrong Yamaguchi Tadashi...I never reciprocated the same feelings that you felt for me,” Tsukishima steps forward to Yamaguchi, looming over him like a shadow and looked down on him. 

“Make sure this gets into your mind. You are so fucking boring, and since I’m being honest right now, let me say this. Any person that seems interested you, is full of shit,” Tsukishima spits out. Yamaguchi stumbles back on his feet, landing on the floor. He looks up at the tall blond with sorrow clearly in eyes. 

“Pathetic,” he says, just like the first time they met. However Yamaguchi knows that this time the word was directly pointed at him. 

“Tsukki-” 

“And that dumb nickame. God. Stop calling me that, actually… Just don’t refer to me at all” 

“I- I’m sorry-” Yamaguchi’s lip quivers. 

“TSUKISHIMAAAAA,” a loud voice rings through Yamaguchi’s ears. He looks over to the voice and sees Hinata running towards him and Tsukishima. He reaches for the the older boy’s collar, “What the hell are you saying to Yamaguchi, huh?” 

“I don’t think it’s any of your business, shrimpy” Yamaguchi watch as the two boys fight in front of him. He looks over to his right to see Yachi shaking his arm as well as shaking herself. 

“Are you okay, Yamaguchi-kun?” her voice trembling, scared out of her wits. Yamguchi opens up his mouth, as if he is going to say something but nothing comes out. He looks back at Hinata and Tsukishima, he watches as taller boy clench his fist, going in for a punch. 

Hinata closes his eyes and Yamaguchi reaches out to them knowing he won’t be able to stop Tsukishima in time. Suddenly Tsukishima felt someone stop him, he looked at his wrist to see Kageyama grabbing it. 

“Don’t lay a damn finger on him,” the blue eyed boy snarls. Tsukishima rips his arm from Kageyama’s grip. 

“Whatever, I’m leaving,” Tsukishima starts to walk away, leaving the other four together. 

“Yamaguchi, are you ok?” Kageyama looks down at his freckled friend, offering a hand to him. 

Yamaguchi let out a sob and let all the tears he was holding in out. 

  
  


\---

It has been two weeks since Yamaguchi has seen Tsukishima. He has been living with Yachi in her apartment, Kageyama and Hinata coming over any time they could to see if their friend was doing ok. 

“Yamaguchi, do you think you want to get up today?” Yachi said in a hushed tone. Yamaguchi’s faces peeks up from the blanket. 

“I’m sorry Yacchan, but I don’t feel like I can get up,” Yamaguchi’s voice raspy from all the screaming he does in his pillow when Yachi goes out to get groceries. 

“It’s okay, Yamaguchi. I’ll leave your food here, just call me if you need me” Yachi walks out of the bedroom, leaving Yamaguchi again, alone with his thoughts. He sighs and picks a piece of the bread and puts in his mouth. 

_ ‘I hate this,’  _ he thinks to himself.  _ ‘Why was I not enough for him?’  _ he feels his tears trickling down again. He hugs his pillow, wishing it was Tsukishima. 

  
  


\---

Yamaguchi stayed with Yachi for a couple more days until returning to his own house. Arriving to the house lifeless, with a note on the table from his mother that she will not be returning for another month due to work. 

The days were starting to blur together for the freckled boy. He doesn’t bother getting up, sleeping for extending amounts of time. Tsukishima’s words on replay in his head. 

  
  


_ “You are so fucking boring”  _

_ “I never reciprocated the same feelings you fell for me”  _

_ “I don’t want to fucking listen to you”  _

Yamaguchi has never felt this broken in his life. But the worst part of it all, is that he is still in love with the asshole named Tsukishima Kei. 

He is still love with his messy blond hair. His stupid smirk, that he always does when making fun of others. His shit music taste in bands no one else but him listens to. The way he scrunches his nose when he finds something annoying but it’s to early to comment on it. 

Yamaguchi is the epitome of people who have had their heart broken but would still run back to the bitch who broke their heart. 

Yamaguchi sat up to get a glass of water from his kitchen. Seeming to feel more parched these days, maybe from the excessive sobbing and screaming. He sips from his cup, when he felt a particular itch in his throat. 

He let out a cough, but the itch was still there. He coughed harder, however that only made it worse. His body kept on coughing, the pain in his throat getting worse. His eyes were starting to tear up, he felt something come up his throat. Yamaguchi quickly runs to the sink to quickly spit out whatever was coming out of him. 

Yamaguchi finally felt relief as soon as he stopped coughing. He fell onto his knees, trying to catch his breath. He has never had a cough that bad before. He lifts himself off the floor and looks in the sink, to see the crimson red color of blood. 

The familiar copper taste is present in his mouth. He turns on the water for the sink, watching the blood slowly go down the drain, when he notices something else besides blood in the sink. 

The boy squints and picks it up with two fingers.

It’s a little purple petal. 

  
  
  
  
  


Yamaguchi didn’t cough another petal until two weeks later, but this time it was so much worse. He agreed to meet up with Yachi and Hinata, finally having the strength to leave his house. He quietly sips his tea as he watches Yachi and Hinata bicker on some tv show that Yamaguchi was in the middle of watching, however now spoiled from the latest seasons ending. 

As Yamaguchi silently cried on the inside from all of the spoilers he just found out, Hinata looks over at him. “So Tadashi, you agree that Stiles belonged with Lydia right?” Hinata questions, while glaring at Yachi. 

“But she rejected him so many times, so he obviously should've stayed with Malia right?” Yachi backfires. 

Yamaguchi opened his mouth but quickly closed it. “Were you going to say something Yamaguchi-kun?”

He felt the familiar warm feeling in his throat again and the faintest taste of blood. He quickly put his hand over his mouth and swallowed back any blood he felt in his mouth. “I- I just have to go to the bathroom...I’ll be right back” 

Yamaguchi made a dash for the bathroom and rushes for the nearest open stall. He hovers his face over the toilet and started to cough out all the blood, with petals falling along with the mix. The dark royal purple petals seemed larger than they were before. He continued regurgitating the mix of red and purple from his lungs, he held the toilet seat for his support. His lungs feeling as if they’re on fire. 

“Tadashi…?” Yamaguchi snapped his head, to see Hinata looking down on him. 

“W-wait Hinata it isn’t what it look-” he starts to say but quickly turns back to the toilet bowl spitting out more petals. 

“You have hanahaki…” the freckled boy look back at Hinata to see the most horrifying face on him. Hinata’s slowly brought his hand up to his mouth and looked away, but Yamaguchi could still see his eyes welling up with tears. 

Yamaguchi slowly stood up, still weak in the knees from kneeling over the bowl. As he is getting up he stumbled a bit but Hinata quickly caught him and helped him lean against the stall. “I’m taking you to the doctor’s office” 

“You don’t have to-” 

“Tadashi- we’re going,” Yamaguchi knew that he wasn’t going to change Hinata’s mind any time soon. 

  
  


\---

“So Yamaguchi-kun. I know this might be a hard pill for you to swallow but you have hanahaki,” Yamaguchi felt a lump in his throat, and it wasn’t a petal. 

“You probably know this but I’ll tell you it just in case you don’t. You can either have the one you have feelings for reciprocate your own by showing a kiss or you can take surgery however the side effects is that you will lose your feelings for this person and never feel them again, you could even lose memory of that person. If you want my opinion on this, I think You should take the surgery Yamaguchi-kun, but it’s up to you”

Hinata looks over to Yamaguchi in his chair with his head down, “I’m not going to have the surgery,”. 

“What do you mean you’re not going to take the surgery?!” Hinata stood up from his chair. 

“I’ll let you guys talk it out,” the doctor quietly excusing himself. 

“Tadashi, you are going to DIE if you don’t take a surgery,” Hinata grabbed onto his shoulders, “Tsukishima left you, so why are you still clinging onto him. I’m sorry Tadashi but he didn’t love you like you loved him, so please take the surgery” 

Yamaguchi looks up at his friend with a sad broken smile, “I would rather die then fall out of love with Tsukishima” 

The ginger let go of Yamaguchi and tilting his head back, trying to hold back the tears, “He isn’t worth it Tadashi. Please… he’s a bitch, let go of him” 

“I can’t” 

“Okay” 

\---

Yamaguchi slowly trailed behind Hinata as they were entering Yachi’s apartment. 

“Where did you guys go, after our lunch?” Yachi immediately asked as they came in. She knew something was up when Hinata told her that they both suddenly left her at the cafe. And the looks on their faces didn’t make that feeling go away. 

“Should I tell her or should I?” Hinata looks over at Yamaguchi. 

“I have hanahaki,” Yamaguchi states. 

“And he won’t get the surgery” 

The next thing Yamaguchi felt was a stinging feeling on his cheek. He grazes his fingers where he was just slapped, he looks down and sees Yachi fuming with tears in her eyes. 

“You’re kidding right? You’re going to take have the surgery, right? Or do you not have hanahaki and you guys are just playing with me? That’s it right, this is all some sick joke,” Yachi let out a broken laugh that quickly turned into her crying into the palms of her hands. 

“Yachan…” Yamaguchi moves his hand toward her, trying to comfort her but he stops. He held his hand close to his chest, “I’m sorry Yachi… I just can’t take that surgery if it means that I’ll lose Tsukishima forever” 

Yachi sits down onto her couch, “But why..?” 

“It’s Tsukishima, I don’t even know why I’m in love with him but I am,” Yamaguchi sighs, “Please Yachi, if I’m going to die. I want to die loving Tsukishima” 

Yachi just let out a sob. 

Suddenly the three of them hear the the door creak open. Kageyama walks into the apartment with eyes wide open. “I heard everything…” he whispers. 

“I’m sorry, Tob-” 

“You can’t Yamaguchi. You can’t leave us like this, just because of some prick,” Kageyama starts to take long steps towards Yamaguchi. 

He grabs Yamaguchi collar bringing him in close, “Yamaguchi, you’re not really on planning on dying, right?” 

“Kageyama…” 

“I can’t lose you too, Yamaguchi. I can’t lose anyone else in my life. I lost my grandfather, my parents, my teammates, my sister. I can’t lose anyone else. Please Yamaguchi,” Kageyama’s grip loosened on Yamaguchi. The blue eyed boy lays his head on the freckled one’s shoulder, “I can’t lose you too”. 

“I’m sorry Kageyama” 

\---

Yamaguchi’s hanahaki only got worse. It went from tiny petals to full flowers taking all the space in his throat. 

Yamaguchi, Hinata, Kagyeyama and Yachi all tried calling Tsukishima. Hoping, praying, that he would pick up and say it was all a joke and he was still in love with Yamaguchi. Saving the freckled boy’s life. 

_ “This is Tsukishima Kei, sorry I couldn’t pick up right now. If you’re from work I really am sorry but if we’re so called friends please… fuck off”  _

_ “Tsukki! You can’t just say that! If we’re friends, he’ll call you back right away!”  _

_ “Shut up, Yamaguchi!”  _

A long beep came after Tsukishima’s message. Another declined call, he remembers when they recorded that message. Tsukishima only keeping it as that because Yamaguchi thought it showed how they were a cute couple and Tsukishima was to lazy to change it. 

“He’s probably still too lazy to change it”, Yamaguchi says to himself. 

“What did you say Tadashi,” Hinata says from the kitchen. He was making food for the four of them, for their movie night. 

“Lemme help y-” Yamaguchi put his hand over his mouth and runs to the bathroom. He crouches over the toilet, throwing up flowers and blood. 

“Gross…” he croaks before throwing up again. He feels Hinata’s soft hands rub his back and brushing his hair away from his face.

Yamaguchi rests his head on the toilet seat, feeling the urge to puke out his guts going away. “Hinata… I don’t think I’m going to last any longer” 

Hinata turns his head to the side, refusing to meet Yamaguchi’s eyes. He brings his hand up to his face and quickly wipes his eyes. Turning his head back to Yamaguchi with a smile on his face, “I’ll go finish up the food now! Just go on the couch and wait for the others!” 

\---

_ “This is Ts-”  _

Yamaguchi presses the hang up button. Another declined call, even though he has already came to terms with his up-coming death, he still clings on to the little bit of hope that Tsukishima would call him back and apologize. 

He hears his doorbell ring and opens his door to see Yachi and Kageyama there. 

“Hey gu-” Yamaguchi starts to gag, he braces him self up the door frame. 

“Tadashi are you ok? Do you need help?” Yachi starts to panic, however Yamaguchi drowns her voice out. 

_ “What’s happening,”  _ he thinks to himself,  _ “My throat feels warm but it feels different?”  _

He began to feel light headed and he fell onto to Kagyeama, “Woah, Tadashi do you need help?” 

“Hospital…” he moans. 

Then be blacks out. 

\---

Tsukishima wakes up to his phone ringing. He opens up his eyes groggily and squints to see the contact name;  **Tadashi <3**

He stares at his screen as his phone rings, staring at his boyf-  **ex-** boyfriend’s contact. It was a photo of Yamaguchi swaddled up in a blanket not paying attention to Tsukishima taking a picture of him instead he was paying attention to a move they were both supposed to be watching. 

He hovers his finger over the answer button but decides against it and just let’s it ring. He rolls off his bed and puts on some random clothes. Then he walks to his kitchen with his phone, preparing himself a cup of coffee. 

Tsukishima scrolls through all the texts his old friends have sent him. Kageyama and Hinata yelling at him for breaking their best friend's heart, Yachi asking for them to at least talk it out and Yamaguchi apologizing and begging for Tsukishima to come back to him. 

The blond slams his fist on the kitchen table. “FUCK,” he yells out in anger. Why in the hell is Yamaguchi apologizing. He did nothing wrong to Tsukishima yet he was the one that was acting like he was the one that didn’t breakup and insult their significant other on the street. 

Tsukishima wipes tears off his face he didn’t even realize were there. God only knows how much Tsukishima misses Yamaguchi. However he wouldn’t dare call him back, he knows he doesn’t get a second chance with the freckled boy. Yamaguchi is too good for him anyways. 

He tilts his head back and pinches his nose. He looks back down at his phone, hearing a message come in. His expectation of one of the four people messaging him being correct, however the message sent is nothing he expected. 

**Yachi:**

Yamaguchi is the hospital 

He has hanahaki

He’s dying, Tsukishima…

Room 212 if you want to come

Tsukishima drops his coffee on the floor and sprints out of his home. 

\---

Yamaguchi is laying down on his hospital bed with blood stained against the skin around his mouth. 

“I am very sorry but it’s to late for Yamaguchi-kun to take the surgery and even if somehow his crush comes now, they wouldn’t be able to save him. I’ll let you four to have some privacy for his final moments,” the doctor excuses himself, leaving the feeling of despair behind him. 

Yachi sitting on the chair right next to the bed, holds Yamaguchi’s hand as if as long as she keeps holding his hand then she can keep him here on earth living. Hinata stands over her, trying his best to stay strong for his friends. Though it’s taking all he’s got to not break down crying. 

Kageyama is standing across from them lost in his mind. Why couldn’t Yamaguchi choose him all those years ago? Why does he keep loosing all the people he loves? Could he have done anything to change these series of heartbreak? 

“Guys…” Yamaguchi croaks out from his deathbed. They all turn to him with tears in his eyes. “Please don’t be sad when I die- actually you can be sad for like two weeks. And then get back onto your lives. I’ll be rooting for all of you both in heaven or hell...whichever one I’m sent to-” Yamaguchi starts breaking into a coughing fit and Yachi quickly hands him a glass of water. 

He thanks her and continues on. “I love you all, remember that. It hurts to speak now so I’m going to rest now,” Yamaguchi shuts his eyes with a smile on his face. Yachi wraps her arms around his unconscious body, the other two following her lead, despite the uncomfortable position.

Suddenly they hear it. Instead of the steady beeps of the heart monitor behind them, they hear the long beep of the heart monitor flat lining. 

“No no no… Tadashi..not yet.. Not now….” Kageyama stands up and stumbles away from his friend’s dead body. 

“Kageyama…” Yachi reaches out to the raven haired boy but brings it back to her chest. She doesn’t even know what to do, Yamaguchi’s usually the one that comforts them. 

It’s only been one minute since Yamaguchi’s death and they’re all a wreck. 

\---

Tsukishima bursts through the hospital room door. Hair disheveled. His glasses falling off his face. Breathing hard…. 

“Tsukishima...you got my text,” Yachi whispers, shocked to see him here. 

He ignores what Yachi says and makes his way to Yamaguchi’s body. “Tadashi…?” he whimpers. 

“This is all some sick joke right…? This is just you getting payback right? He’s just sleeping! Tadashi you can wake up now, I get it. I screwed up,” Tsukishima lets out a broken laugh, not believing that his Yamaguchi Tadashi is dead. 

“He’s not dead. He can’t be. Tadashi please, wake up now. This isn’t funny anymore. WAKE UP!” Tsukishima puts his forehead on Tadashi’s freckled one. “I’m sorry for what I said. You were never boring, you would always bring people towards you by the way you speak. I never pitied you, I looked up to you for how strong you are. And any guy that you love, is the luckiest man in the world and should you treat you like they’re your world. How  **_I_ ** should have treated you. I’m sorry Tadashi, so just wake up please…” 

Tsukishima waits a few seconds, hoping, praying for a response. But we all know that didn’t happen. 

“YAMAGUCHI, WAKE UP! PLEASE-”

“Tsukishima… He’s already dead…” 

The blond stops, “Why didn’t you take the surgery, Yamaguchi? Why couldn’t you just get over me? I hurt you! Why did you still love me?” 

Tsukishima looks at Yamaguchi’s lifeless body and falls down to the floor on his knees, sobbing. 

“He didn’t want to risk forgetting you,” Hinata speaks up. Tsukishima turned his head to the ginger, “Considering how much he loved you, there was a high risk of him losing all memories of you. He wanted to die loving you, even though you don’t love him” 

“BUT I-” 

“Just be quiet Tsukishima,” Hinata cuts him off. “Yamaguchi is dead because of you,” 

Hinata looks directly into Tsukishima’s eyes before leaving the room. Kageyama quickly follows his friend, not really knowing if he could hold himself back from punching Tsukishima in the face. 

Yachi clears her throat, catching the taller blond’s attention, “I’m going to head out as well Tsukishima. I’ll see you later” 

“Yachi…” Tsukishima calls out but she’s already out the door. Leaving him with his dead ex-lover. 

\---

Yamaguchi’s funeral reception is like every other funeral that he’s been to so far. Tsukishima observes the flimsy paper plates with soggy vanilla cakes and a thin layer of vanilla frosting, from the very back corner of the room. 

Yamaguchi hated those types of cakes. 

He sees his old volleyball team sitting around a table, completely silent. Which would usually be a great thing to Tsukishima but right now all he wishes is for Tanaka and Nishinoya to start a ruckus with Daichi reprimanding them. 

He also spots his kohai’s standing against the walls of the rooms, not knowing what to do since this was probably their first funeral they are attending. 

He makes his way to the exit and walks to where they just buried Yamaguchi a mere thirty minutes ago. 

He crouches in front of his grave and begins to speak, “You’re probably hating this aren’t you? You always hated boring parties, even if they were funerals… Don’t you see we still need you?” Tsukishima rubs the side of his face and let’s a small smile out. 

“I love you Yamaguchi, I’m sorry for hurting you,” he put a kiss on Yamaguchi’s headstone. 

He got up and heads towards his car. 

.

.

.

  
  
  
  


_ What’s this warm feeling in my throat? _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this! I'm really sorry if I didn't potray the characters how they should be, but please leave comments on how I can improve! You can also leave kudos if you have nothing to say ;)
> 
> Have a nice day and don't forget to drink some water!


End file.
